Dec. 26 to Jan 2
"Why should we hire you?"

Winner for the past week
No annual fee! Low interest!

Walt wins yet another round...

Topic Dec. 19 to 25
Horrible Christmas/Holiday card sentiments.

Winner for the Past week
I'd win, but that's rude.

Those big inflated lawn ornaments!

They sure do kill Christmas.

So, Walt wins another round.

Topic, December 12th to 18th
Worst "true meaning of Christmas."

OR

Worst "Spirit of Christmas" interpretations.

Winner for the past wee
Josh's was true and intriguing.

But it doesn't beat Walt's...

Last year's fruitcake - half off!

Topic Dec 5 to 11
New and awful Chirstmas Christmas "Holiday Specials."

Winner fo the Past Week
I am partial to Amy's.

Christmas treats induce bizarre dream.

November 28 to December 4
Succinctly summarize Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker ballet.

Winner for the Past Week
I must go with Slobo's...

Thanks for mommy's secret boyfriend.

Topic for Nov. 21 to 27
Uncomfortable "Blessings" said at Thanksgiving...

(Innapropriate thanks said in "prayer.")

"Bless Bill O'Reilly and Vibrators..."

Winner for the past weeek
This was a tough one.

The first entry was great.

I've heard the second one.

It's not bad to hear.

The last did it, though.

Slobo wins for his entry:

Roseanne singing "I'm Too Sexy"

Sure, Yoko would push limits.

But she wouldn't really hurt.

(At least, not Baroque Opera...)

Topic Nov. 14 to 20
I hope I never hear...

Winner for the past week
That would be just me...

Taxes can't solve corrupted values.

Was the topic too demanding?

Perhaps, just disgusted with politics...

Topic Nov. 7 to 13
Future "talking point" for Bush...

Winner for the past week
Mike plays and Mike wins....

Moose become suicide attack bombers.

It's all in the imagery...

Oct. 31 to Nov. 6
Terrorist plans concocted by Canadians.

Winner for the past week
Amy wins this week's round.

"Queer Eye" outfits look reasonable.

Topic Oct. 24 to 29

The benefits of Color Blindness.

Winner for the past week...
And the winner is Slobo...

I'm naked under this T-shirt.

Topic for Oct. 10 to 23
New Five Word T-shirt slogans.

(About any topic; just funny.)

Topic is still awaiting submissions...

Winner For the Past Week
Well, Slobo takes it all.

The entries were good, too...

John and John run Republican.

Topic Oct. 3 to 9
What would change your vote?

(This assumes you're aleady decided.)

Winner for the past week
I barely comprehend football games.

Even so, Slobo's was funny.

Learn to kick field goals.

Picture God in coach's uniform...

Topic Sept. 26 to Oct. 2
Reasons why God smites Florida....

Or, if you'd rather comment:

Ways to thwart the Hurricanes.

Winner for the Past Week
There're so many respectable entries!

(Unlike the use of "there're.")

When Mike plays, he wins...


Stitch in thine saves mine.

(OK, not always, but often.)

Topic Sept. 19 to 25
Wise sayings a bit misquoted.

Winner for the past week
Finally, a plethora of responses!

Josh, we've got to acknowledge:

Thanks Pope for "suggesting" "rhythm"

I've got rhythm and music...

Who could ask for more?

Topic Sept. 12 to 18
Responses to "Honey, we're pregnant."

Winner for the past week
Once again, it's slim pickings.

Amy will take the prize:

Previously tanning, now scuba diving.

Topic Sept. 5 to 11
Don't let vacation get ruined...

Hurricane modified Floridian vacation plans.

Winner for the past Week
Stealthfully, Josh wins this round.

switch to one-ply toilet paper

Topic Aug. 29 - Sept. 3

"Last Straw" towards resignation letter...

Winner for the Past Week
Wow - many submissions this week.

Brad's entry tickled me most.

Naked skydiving during the ceremony.

Josh's came close, in meaning...

Wedding theme: Abu Ghraib prison

But, Brad wins this round.

Topic Aug. 22 to 28
Worst idea(s) for wedding ceremonies.

Winner for the past week
Slobo will win this time.

Obligatory rendez-vous at major holidays.

Don't forget funerals and weddings.

Topic for Aug. 15 to 21
Qualifications to being family members.

Winner for the past week
The comments have temporarily dissapeared.

Only Amy had previously contributed.

I don't recall her wording.

Even so, her entry wins.

Topic Aug. 8 to 14
Explain the Terror Alert System.

Winner for the past week
Amy's Elepahnt joke was super.

Elephant jokes are often cornier.

But, Slobo's suggestion defines best.

Hannibal Lecter meets Martha Stewart

Topic for 07/31 to 08/07
Describe the perfect house sitter.

Winner for the past Week
I must go with Slobo's.

Postal employees work more overtime.

Topic July 24 to 30
Describe living in Lunar Colonies...

Winner for the past week
Once again, Slobo's was exceptional:

Personal use of Company Mule


It's funny to picture it.

Topic, July 18 to 24
Job perks we never want.

Winner for the past week
Selections were slim, but admirable.

All of Slobo's are amusing.

So, Slobo wins with his:

Fiddler Falls Off The Roof

A New Topic does exist
Time stamps are slightly off.

So, topic was posted earlier.

Or it looks that way...

Scroll down for the topic:

"Bad ideas for Broadway Musicals."

Slobo's work is quite good.

But, don't quit without trying!

The Winner for the week
Tough choice with few entries.

I shall go with Mike's:

Excessive sorbitol before the interview.

Topic: July 11 to 17
Horrible ideas for "Broadway" musicals.

Topic July 4 to 10
Dual topics for this week:

Worst interview mistakes to make.

and/or

Atkin's options for Josh's diet.

(Perhaps, combine them for fun.)

Winner for the past week
Perhaps it's due to novelty...

But I liked "new guy's..."

Slobo wins with those below:

"Even Idiots Can Become President"

I know it's a copy.
But it was funny, again.

My apologies - very poor taste.
Not suitable for young children.

They were not intended entries.
But they work, as well.

Topic June 27 to July 4
New title for "My Life."

Winner for the past week
Both entries deserved to win.

So, they both have won.

Amy's entry supplied the roots.

Even idiots get to vote.

Josh's entry confirmed the results.

Even idiots can become President

Topic June 20 to 26
What are benefits in Democracy?

Winner for the past week
Yes, it was slightly awkward.

Even so, some did well.

Josh and Amy did exceptionally.

Amy scores the win, though.

Twenty years of solitary torture.

Topic June 13 to 19th
Josh did provide this topic...

The downsides of single motherhood...

Winner for the past week...
I did appreciate Josh's entry.

It had that SNL twist.

But, I like Brad's the best.

Ah, New York in winter!

Topic: June 6 to 12
If movie events actually occurred...

React to "Day After Tomorrow."

Winner for the pasy week
Walt wins yet another round...

A hot-air balloon revival.

Topic May 30 to June 5
(Idea stolen from "Wait Wait")

Gas saving automobile manufacturer plans.

Winner for the past week
Any one of Mike's wins...

George Lucas sells more toys.

Topic for May 23 to 29
Anticipated plot: Star Wars 3.

the Past Week's winner is...
Well, who could argue Amy's...

One week working, one off.

Except for the "indepenantly wealthy."

Topic May 16 to 22
Describe the perfect vacation plan.

Winner for the past week
With a last minute entry....

Walt wins yet another round;

You know how this works.

Topic: May 9 to 15
Create an answering machine announcement.

Winner for the past Week
Brad wins, with no competition.

I am all that's necessary.

Good music is very scarce.

Topic for May 2 - 8

What's needed for "good music?"

The winner for the week
I'm going with Brad's entry...

Falling down causes more pain.

Topic April 25 to May 1
The disadvantages to growing older.

Winner for the past week
I'll go with Walt's entry:

You get to enjoy "Matlock."

I've been old for awhile...

I've enjoyed Matlock for decades.

Topic: April 18 to 24

The advantages to growing older.

Winner for the past week

I guess we all lost.

I'll make an entry, though:

George W. Bush for "Teflon."

Topic: April 11 to 17

Potential new spokespersons for products.

See the "Panelist Predictions" here.

This past week's winner is...

Amy wins for any entry.

Sorry I got your promotion.

Topic April 4 ro 10

"In poor taste" Hallmark cards.

Winner for the Past Week

Many of us do this:

Live life an hour behind!

So, Walt wins this round....

Topic March 28 to April 4

Coping with "Daylight-Saving Time."

Winner for the past week

We'll make it a tie.

Brad and Amy can share...

"Peace" in the Middle East.

The return of Jesus Christ.

Amy's is "fleeing time," though.

Me and my jugs: GONE...

Topic; March 21 - 27

A sure sign of Armageddon...

Winner for the past Week

I will go with Dave's:

Sounds like my everyday life

Dave hasn't read the book.

BUT, he got the theme!

Everybody lives with "Catch 22."

Topic March 14 to 20

Summarize the book "Catch 22."

Winner for the past week

Either of Walt's entries wins...

How do you define fat?

I think the phone's ringing...

Awesome entries, all, this week...

Topic March 7 to 13

Give responses to these queries:

"Honey, do I look fat?'
or
"Have I put on weight?"
or
"Which outfit shows less fat?"
or
"This makes me look fat!"

etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.

Respond cruel, kind, or funny....

Winner 29th to March 6

First, & does equal "and."

Making one of Josh's void.

We've a lot of entries.

Sadly, few were about topic...

The key: picture the interview...

The Barbara Walters' Sadaam interview

Why rape, torture, and murder?


So, Josh ties this time...

As, Mike's was equally funny...

Mewv Gwiffin wecollects pwevious caweews.

Topic for Feb 29 to March 6.

Barbara Walters interviews never heard...

Winner for the past week.


I just love pet stories...

My dog plays with them.

Topic, February 22 to 28

Present some uses for pennies.

Winner for this past week.

Don't know... never saw one.

Topic, Feb. 15 to 21

Characteristics of a perfect President.

Winner for the last week

I am split betwen two.

Cheesy and silly have appeal.


I'll go with Amy's silly:

You're really not so bad.

Topic for Valentine's Day Week

Alternatives to "I Love You..."

Winner Feb. 1 to 7

This is a tough choice.

Some entries were most amusing.

Some entries were most profound.

It depends on my interpretation.

Does "worst" mean most destructive?

Or, does it mean "cruelest."

Or, does it mean "silliest."

I'll go with the unique.

Only one was entirely devastating.


You will surely not die.

Topic, Feb. 1 to 7

The worst lie ever told.

The winner for the week.

I will go with Mike's.

Al Sharpton takes the lead

Granted, Amy's is also scary.

At least Perot has led.

Sure, Sharpton would be fun.

But he's only for entertainment.

Topic Jan. 25 to 31

2004 election "worst case scenario."

The winner for this week...

It'll have to be Amy's

Avoid Last Week's Awkward Conversation!

Granted, I've always liked mine...

No need for "snooze buttons."

Topic Jan. 18 to 24

Marketable uses for time travel.

Wow, dude, Mike wins again...

When dog's attitude isn't enough

The topic for the week

For what are cats good?

Winner for the Week

Take your laptop to bed

I've been there, done that...

Topic, Jan 4 to 10

You're a computer/interent junkie if.....

Winner for the past week

I'm liking Brad's and Amy's.

I was happy Mike tried.

Surprisingly, no Dairy Queen references.

In the end, I'd reward:


I saw some frozen Eskimos.